Living with "Ethyl"

One of the most frustrating members of our planet is Ethyl Alcohol.  For purposes of this article, I will refer to Ethyl also as “she” or “her.”  Ethyl is cruel, dramatic, and thrives on adversity.  She dwells within people who find it extremely hard to resist her, and she causes havoc for the people who surround those she possesses. 

Sad to say, Ethyl is likely here to stay.  Glad to say, we can live with her.  We just have to learn how to live with her.  Don’t be fooled by thinking that if Ethyl is not physically present that she is not present at all.  Oh no.  Her influence reaches across all oceans, mountains, and everything in-between.  So, how can we live with Ethyl and not allow her to be personally detrimental?  Shakespeare’s character Polonius says, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”  That is crucial.  Being true to oneself means being in reality, not denial.  For the drinker, it means recognizing being an alcoholic or someone who is adversely affected by alcohol.  For the loved ones, it means recognizing that someone else’s drinking causes an adverse effect on others.  In addition, it means not trying to cover it up, thinking that in doing so no one else will notice.  After all, it’s pretty hard to cover up the obvious. 

To both the drinkers and the loved ones – stand up for your rights!  You have the right to refuse Ethyl.  You have the right to remove yourself from her presence.  You have the right to consume or engage in something else to fill the void of not having her in your life or in your presence.  You have the right to be in control – not vice versa.  The alcoholics and drinkers in our society -- and in many others -- have many places to go, numbers to call, and web sites to visit to help abstain from drinking.  Loved ones have the similar support systems to help them refrain from enabling. 

Often the simplest thing to do is walk away from Ethyl.  Often the hardest thing to do is making the choice to do so.  For the drinker, accept the fact there may be people, places and things you will miss or avoid because Ethyl will be there trying to entice you into a bad state of being.  For the loved one, accept the fact that sometimes you will not do things with the drinker or will cut times short when drinking begins or continues.  Here in Cheyenne, there are plenty of taxis, or a person may be within walking distance to wherever he/she needs or wants to go.  That goes for either the drinker or the loved one. 

There is no need to allow Ethyl to haunt us.  Each person has the ability to establish boundaries.  Flared tempers, hurt feelings, and feelings of defeat can be lessened and even eliminated if, hard as it might be, we close the door on Ethyl and do not allow her to dominate or inhibit our well being.  And always keep in mind there are plenty of places and people to turn to for assistance, knowledge and support.  Good-bye, Ethyl.

Copyright © August 2014 by Maeke Ermarth

                    Cheyenne, WY