Thank
God for bible study groups. They are a
place to examine, learn, and explore stories and subjects that are much more
complicated than how they initially appear.
Hearing the thoughts and beliefs of other participants, I continually
expand my own understanding of both content and intentions embedded within the
pages of the bible.
After
considering many points of views, questions, and contemplations, I sometimes experience
revelations. And, I continue to
ascertain a clearer understanding as a result of acquiring more knowledge and
insight. It is a healthy, perpetual
experience that enhances my spirituality.
I
had a revelation just this past week that really excited me. In a six-week study group met, we focused on
some chapters in the Book of John as relevant reading for Lent. [The incidents in this article are in John,
Chapters 13-21.]We recalled that prior to his crucifixion, Jesus tells Simon Peter
(who I will refer to as simply “Peter”) that Peter will deny him three times
before the cock crows. Soon thereafter
while in a garden with the disciples, a detachment of troops and officers from
the chief priests and Pharisees came looking for Jesus. In defense of him, Peter cut off the ear of a
high priest’s servant; but Jesus told Peter he should not have done it. Peter no more does anything but observe and
remain detached. He ends up denying he even
knows or follows Jesus – three times, and then the rooster crows. We know that after Jesus is crucified, Peter is
very sad and remorseful.
In
time, Peter resumes being a fisherman. One
day, Peter and other disciples are fishing; and in the distance they see a man
standing on the shore. Once he realizes
the man is Jesus, Peter rushes to the shore to greet him. Jesus questions Peter about his love for him
to ascertain that Peter truly loves him more than anyone and anything
else. Peter is able to convince Jesus
that indeed, he does. Jesus then bestows
on Peter the task of taking on his responsibilities – to me, the highest honor anointed
any believer.
The
reaction and perception we usually witness is disappointment, even disdain, that
Peter denied Jesus. It is commonly
thought he basically turned his back on Jesus … abandoned him. It is also believed that upon being reunited
with Jesus, Peter receives forgiveness and grace from him.
For
many years, I have not believed Peter denied Jesus in the way so widely
accepted. I felt that Peter loved Jesus
so much and was so pained himself knowing and seeing the torture Jesus was
going through that he felt compelled to defend Jesus and began his defense by
cutting off the servant’s ear. After
Jesus chastised Peter for his action, Peter likely felt that admitting to being
a follower of Jesus, when asked, might possibly make things even worse. Better to just remain present but
silent. So when three times in various
places Peter was asked if he knew or was a follower of Jesus, he replied, “No.” My belief is that Peter was actually
following, without understanding at the time, Jesus’s insistence that Peter deny him and not help him. I further believe that Peter was not
remorseful for having denied Jesus but that he felt anguish for doing something
against what his heart was telling him to do in order to do, through Jesus’s
instructions, God’s will.
I
stated my perception of these interactions between Jesus and Peter to the study
group. At the next week’s meeting, we
spent time focusing on Peter rushing to the shore when he recognized it was
truly Jesus standing there. After voicing
that I do not have the impression that Jesus was forgiving Peter for denying
him and reiterating earlier my train of thought about the denials, the group
leader pointed out that Peter most likely really had no power of making things
either better or worse for Jesus’s journey to his crucifixion. Good point.
There was something, then, I was missing.
I
still felt Peter was simply carrying out Jesus’s instructions, and therefore no
forgiveness was necessary. Otherwise,
Peter would have been very afraid to stand before Jesus; but, no – upon knowing
the man was Jesus, Peter plunged into the sea and hurried to be with him
again. It seems obvious to me that Jesus
and Peter very much loved and trusted each other. While driving home, I was pondering all this
when it hit me: God’s plan is always
being played out, even when we cannot recognize or make sense of it. It was Peter who was being protected by
denying Jesus. Why? Because Peter was already chosen by God to be
the church’s fully-human foundation. Had
Peter admitted to being a disciple, he could have been in grave danger and
perhaps even killed, given the circumstances and mood of the crowd.
That
was my missing puzzle. Through the
sharing of thoughts and beliefs at the bible study, one of the participants
made the comment that was the link for which I had been searching. Peter loved and had so much faith in Jesus
and God that he was willing to go against his own will to do the denying of
which Jesus foretold. When Jesus told
Peter he should not have cut off the servant’s ear, Peter’s belief allowed him
to stand back without questioning and just let things play out without any further
involvement on his part. Peter later went
off, feeling horrible as well as confused but still knew Jesus loved him.
Imagine
the joy and excitement, then, Peter felt when he saw Jesus on the shore. Of course he went to him straight away. There was no reason to be afraid or ashamed –
he did what Jesus asked of him, and the reward was to see and be with Jesus
again! Only Peter stopped the fishing
and left the boat to reunite with Jesus.
So when Jesus asked Peter if he loved him “more than these,” I take that
to mean that Jesus is seeking confirmation from Peter that he will give up all
earthly things, including his source of income, to carry on any commands from
God. Jesus gave him three opportunities
to shun that acceptance, but Peter was steadfast and dependable.
To
be honest, I was not there during these events.
None of us were. All we have are
the bible stories that exist for everyone’s interpretations … not just
believers. My insights are based on the
personal relationship I have with God and my views about His
characteristics. I believe that because
Peter was pre-ordained to take over many of Jesus’s responsibilities, God
orchestrated the path Peter needed to follow to remain safe and ultimately able
to accept and take on the role God intended for him. Part of that path meant Peter had to deceive
some people in order to do God’s will.
What a testament Peter remains to this day of unconditional and
unquestioning belief, love, and faith. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Thus
sayeth the Lord [Hebrews 13:5].
Copyright
© April 2017 by Maeke Ermarth
Ocean City, Maryland
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