Why Did Peter Deny Jesus?

Thank God for bible study groups.  They are a place to examine, learn, and explore stories and subjects that are much more complicated than how they initially appear.  Hearing the thoughts and beliefs of other participants, I continually expand my own understanding of both content and intentions embedded within the pages of the bible.

After considering many points of views, questions, and contemplations, I sometimes experience revelations.  And, I continue to ascertain a clearer understanding as a result of acquiring more knowledge and insight.  It is a healthy, perpetual experience that enhances my spirituality. 

I had a revelation just this past week that really excited me.  In a six-week study group met, we focused on some chapters in the Book of John as relevant reading for Lent.  [The incidents in this article are in John, Chapters 13-21.]We recalled that prior to his crucifixion, Jesus tells Simon Peter (who I will refer to as simply “Peter”) that Peter will deny him three times before the cock crows.  Soon thereafter while in a garden with the disciples, a detachment of troops and officers from the chief priests and Pharisees came looking for Jesus.  In defense of him, Peter cut off the ear of a high priest’s servant; but Jesus told Peter he should not have done it.  Peter no more does anything but observe and remain detached.  He ends up denying he even knows or follows Jesus – three times, and then the rooster crows.  We know that after Jesus is crucified, Peter is very sad and remorseful.

In time, Peter resumes being a fisherman.  One day, Peter and other disciples are fishing; and in the distance they see a man standing on the shore.  Once he realizes the man is Jesus, Peter rushes to the shore to greet him.  Jesus questions Peter about his love for him to ascertain that Peter truly loves him more than anyone and anything else.  Peter is able to convince Jesus that indeed, he does.  Jesus then bestows on Peter the task of taking on his responsibilities – to me, the highest honor anointed any believer.

The reaction and perception we usually witness is disappointment, even disdain, that Peter denied Jesus.  It is commonly thought he basically turned his back on Jesus … abandoned him.  It is also believed that upon being reunited with Jesus, Peter receives forgiveness and grace from him. 

For many years, I have not believed Peter denied Jesus in the way so widely accepted.  I felt that Peter loved Jesus so much and was so pained himself knowing and seeing the torture Jesus was going through that he felt compelled to defend Jesus and began his defense by cutting off the servant’s ear.  After Jesus chastised Peter for his action, Peter likely felt that admitting to being a follower of Jesus, when asked, might possibly make things even worse.  Better to just remain present but silent.  So when three times in various places Peter was asked if he knew or was a follower of Jesus, he replied, “No.”  My belief is that Peter was actually following, without understanding at the time, Jesus’s insistence that Peter deny him and not help him.  I further believe that Peter was not remorseful for having denied Jesus but that he felt anguish for doing something against what his heart was telling him to do in order to do, through Jesus’s instructions, God’s will.

I stated my perception of these interactions between Jesus and Peter to the study group.  At the next week’s meeting, we spent time focusing on Peter rushing to the shore when he recognized it was truly Jesus standing there.  After voicing that I do not have the impression that Jesus was forgiving Peter for denying him and reiterating earlier my train of thought about the denials, the group leader pointed out that Peter most likely really had no power of making things either better or worse for Jesus’s journey to his crucifixion.  Good point.  There was something, then, I was missing.

I still felt Peter was simply carrying out Jesus’s instructions, and therefore no forgiveness was necessary.  Otherwise, Peter would have been very afraid to stand before Jesus; but, no – upon knowing the man was Jesus, Peter plunged into the sea and hurried to be with him again.  It seems obvious to me that Jesus and Peter very much loved and trusted each other.  While driving home, I was pondering all this when it hit me:  God’s plan is always being played out, even when we cannot recognize or make sense of it.  It was Peter who was being protected by denying Jesus.  Why?  Because Peter was already chosen by God to be the church’s fully-human foundation.  Had Peter admitted to being a disciple, he could have been in grave danger and perhaps even killed, given the circumstances and mood of the crowd. 

That was my missing puzzle.  Through the sharing of thoughts and beliefs at the bible study, one of the participants made the comment that was the link for which I had been searching.  Peter loved and had so much faith in Jesus and God that he was willing to go against his own will to do the denying of which Jesus foretold.  When Jesus told Peter he should not have cut off the servant’s ear, Peter’s belief allowed him to stand back without questioning and just let things play out without any further involvement on his part.  Peter later went off, feeling horrible as well as confused but still knew Jesus loved him.

Imagine the joy and excitement, then, Peter felt when he saw Jesus on the shore.  Of course he went to him straight away.  There was no reason to be afraid or ashamed – he did what Jesus asked of him, and the reward was to see and be with Jesus again!  Only Peter stopped the fishing and left the boat to reunite with Jesus.  So when Jesus asked Peter if he loved him “more than these,” I take that to mean that Jesus is seeking confirmation from Peter that he will give up all earthly things, including his source of income, to carry on any commands from God.  Jesus gave him three opportunities to shun that acceptance, but Peter was steadfast and dependable.

To be honest, I was not there during these events.  None of us were.  All we have are the bible stories that exist for everyone’s interpretations … not just believers.  My insights are based on the personal relationship I have with God and my views about His characteristics.  I believe that because Peter was pre-ordained to take over many of Jesus’s responsibilities, God orchestrated the path Peter needed to follow to remain safe and ultimately able to accept and take on the role God intended for him.  Part of that path meant Peter had to deceive some people in order to do God’s will.  What a testament Peter remains to this day of unconditional and unquestioning belief, love, and faith.  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Thus sayeth the Lord [Hebrews 13:5].

Copyright © April 2017 by Maeke Ermarth

               Ocean City, Maryland

What Is in a Church Service Matters to Me

Why do I attend a Sunday church service?  To connect with other believers, to have my heart feel uplifted from the songs and other music that give praise to our creator, to feel God’s serenity, and to learn more about God’s word.

Sometimes services include topics of consideration that are intended to relate to what should be our religious conscious.  While I understand the overall intent, I feel uncomfortable with time spent during services on how to not be wasteful, abusive, neglectful – you get the picture.  This is something I can read every day in newspapers and magazine, web sites and on TV.  Some suggestions are controversial and more political (usually with an attached agenda) than religious and, I believe, should be addressed outside the church. 

Further, it is counter-productive how much paper and cost is being used/wasted to print up extra “stuff” that is often tucked into bulletins.  My suggestion is that we take advantage of modern technology and simply include in the church bulletins a request for comments from individual attendees regarding any topics or activities being considered.  Those comments can be e-mailed and posted on the church’s web site (many churches in today’s world do have their own web sites).  In that way, a healthy exchange of ideas can take place without anyone feeling put upon during their sacred time of worship, there is not an abuse of paper or cost, and the distraction is not drawn into the sanctuary where, to me, it does not belong. 

Jesus relayed to people how God intends for us to live in order to be in compliance with His will.  That is certainly what the focus of the message should be inside the sanctuary.  Outside of the sanctuary, we should then exercise the free will bestowed upon us to live according to that message as we feel is appropriate.  Hence, participating on the church’s web site, participating in bible studies, supporting groups and activities and issues we feel do not dilute or betray our religious beliefs, etc.  For the time spent in the sanctuary itself, I encourage emphasis remaining on songs and prayers glorifying God, and hearing what God’s word is pertaining to any and all topics -- without distraction from its purity.

Copyright © May 2014 by Maeke Ermarth

               Cheyenne, WY

Family Obsessions

Thanks be to my Christian AND reincarnation beliefs, as they keep me grounded. I have come to realize that biological parents are merely the vessels through which I enter my current life. Other people in my life have filled the truer roles of "mother," "father," "sibling," etc., and they have no biological connection.

It is human nature to desire what we don't have. The Beaver Cleaver family kids have an attraction to some degree to the non-Beaver Cleaver family kids, and vice versa. "Good girls" find "bad boys" exciting. "Bad girls" look for the security of the "good boys." "Good boys" try to save "bad girls," and "bad boys" ... well, let's not even go there. Through maturity comes appreciation for what we have, even when it is not our preference. It gives meaning, sense, and VALUE to everyone and everything with whom and which we come into contact. My current lot in life is my stepping stone towards the ideal I will reach in my final life.

Reincarnation might be an actual physical death of this shell and a subsequent new life in a new shell further down the road, or reincarnation may be start with tomorrow's dawn. Through learning and understanding, I now know what people mean who believe that we choose our mothers, fathers, and siblings. It is not my death and then a search for a barren womb to begin my next life; rather, it is me making that choice in the here and now. My "mother" is a dear lady named Ginny. My "father" was a wonderful old Greek man who lived in CT. My "sisters" and "brothers" (even though I have no biological brothers) are a special few who God placed in my life to adopt me as their sister. Upon reaching this level of personal growth, the family obsessions and haunts will back off because, in reality, they are only a figment of imaginations and a distortion of the real definition of "family." The "ideal family" that is biologically related simply happens to be a group of people who are already compatible and suited for their roles within that family's structure.

Those are my beliefs, and they may or may not be right or accurate; but they serve me well.

Maeke ErmarthãOcean City, MD
               April 28, 2012

This Thing Called Love

Not long ago, I was told love felt for a biological grand child is different from the love felt for a step-grand child.  I expressed my disagreement and pretty much let it drop.  The same lady has made this comment before.  I accept that, for her, that belief is true.  (Incidentally, she has no step-grand children.)

I have three step-grand children and believe I love them as much as I would a biological grand child (I do not have a blood-related grand child).  I understand many people, not just my friend, would dispute my opinion.  However, I also believe no person completely knows another person; in fact, I do not believe I know myself entirely (which is partly why I find "maturing" so fascinating).  Repeatedly I have witnessed my perceptions, feelings, and attitudes change over time.  So what makes me so sure I would love my step-grand children as much as a biological grand child?  The answer is because, although it may sound harsh, I have loved other non-blood-related people in my life as much as and often even more than my biological relatives. 

From where does my way of thinking and feeling come? It comes from my belief in God and my understanding of what He desires my belief to be.  Call me gullible, but since childhood I have believed the truest essence and purpose of life is to love what God has created and to take care of ourselves and others around us.  I also believe in His instruction to stay surrounded by others who love and care for me and remove myself from those who do not.  Fortunately, people who were and people who are excellent role models have raised me in the sense I believe a growing human being should be nurtured and guided.  Sadly, they are not my biological parents or siblings.  However, my relatives play and played a crucial part in forming the package I am, so there is much credit to be given to them as my life's journey would be much different without them.  I truly do cherish my life experiences, so thanks be to them.

I also accept the biblical instruction of a wife joining her husband's family.  In the case of extended families, this can be confusing and frustrating but also very rewarding.  Being a "step" anything has unique challenges, but spouses fare much better as a couple when they embrace each other's children.  My God has increasingly provided me with enough love to do that, and I will stand just as closely by my step-children's and step-grand children's sides as I will my blood-related daughter's side any moment of any day.  In time, I miss all of their voices and need to hear them on the phone if not able to do so in person.  If there are events to which I am able to attend, I do.  Luckily, I have no guilt of having favoritism.  I cherish each and every one of them in a very special way that cannot be "measured" one against the other. 

Other people's comments about how they believe I do or will feel are welcomed.  It gives me an outside-of-myself examination to perform.  This latest repeated statement has caused me to dig deep within, and I can honestly say that the extent of love I have for people who are special to me does not short change any of them.  I have seen this degree of love in other people as well, so I know this is not a personal fantasy.  I am so grateful for God's grace of love.  Because of it, what I consider to be "my family" stretches way beyond my biological family, and the joy in my life is so much more increased.  The ultimate thrill is my daughter's sense of kinship and family towards people -- of all ages -- she has met who she knows are a precious part of my life, as well as her feelings for her step siblings and their kids not even including a "step" in the equation of our family unit. 

The old saying about not fully understanding from where another person comes until you have walked in his/her shoes is so true.  Making assumptions comes so easily.  Accepting when we have missed the mark can sometimes be difficult.  We all make mistakes.  We all have the opportunity to learn about and improve ourselves and, hopefully, make fewer and fewer mistakes.  No doubt, I will forever be in the "classroom of learning."  But I am so indebted to what God has taught me Himself, and through the wonderful people in my life -- both alive and deceased, about the meaning of "love" and "family."  Oh -- it is so much more than a bloodline.  

Believe what you will; but to me, we really are all brother and sisters, and I will continue to abide with the ones who do not bring me down but rather help me climb to a higher standard of personal integrity and spirituality.  As for my daughter and my husband's kids and their families, there is no "step" in my heart.  To me, we are family, and I believe a strong one.  So, while I respect the love my friend has for her grand children, I praise and will continue to hold dear the amount of love I have been given the capacity to hold and give. 

Maeke Ermarth © January 1, 2012

Cheyenne, WY