Expectations and Self Esteem

When I apply the "keep the focus on myself" concept, I go to a better "place."  When I either retain or create expectations of myself and give up expectations of anyone else, I find myself in a better frame of mind and heightened self esteem.  It coincides with all the times I have heard people say each person needs to take care of his/her side of the street, and let everyone else take care of theirs.  This may be harder for a parent to do because children will always be, in a parent's eyes, children -- regardless of age or position -- in need of parenting!  But, in reality, parents need to do this, too.

My initial gut feeling is that a good many people are irresponsible or miguided and that in order for a society to remain somewhat civil and functioning reasonably well, the competent members need to be the caretakers.  So, which is better -- having a populace that lives in a slipshod fashion and sticks to old habits, or having one that admires the characteristics of upstanding members to the extent that they change their own lives to emulate these role models?  I find the second choice more promising and lasting.  With that in mind, I find it easier to monitor myself to be as good an example as I can be and accept that other people need to choose their own life experiences.  Hopefully their choices will be to follow in an honorable role model's footsteps.

Is it better, then, to not have expectations?  I can learn not to have expectations of other people, but it is detrimental to my progress if I do not set expectations of and for myself.  I will keep learning better ways of thinking and perceiving that give me both greater understanding and peace of mind.  I will make it clear where I stand and how I feel about situations while not demanding that anyone adopt my ways for him/herself.  I will respect our differences but not allow myself to be drawn into situations that, or around people who, cause me angst.  Those are expectations I can make for myself that will make me feel I am doing and being the best I can.  Feeling that way increases my self esteem and gives me the impetus to keep striving for a good personal quality of life.