PTS – Disorder or Condition?

I am questioning the "D" in PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) -- is it really a "disorder?"  Sometimes I hear it referred to in a radio commercial simply as PTS, without the "D" attached, which is what got me thinking about this.

It seems to me the mind and body are doing what they should do as a defense mechanism by responding immediately to sounds, smells, or activities associated with something -- or someone – that a person views as a threat or is disturbing to witness.  Being nervous or anxious and other symptoms of PTS is in response to being protectively "on guard."

I wonder, then, if we are mis-using the word "disorder" for PTSD, which has a negative connotation.  For sure, it is going into an extreme mode.  But to me, it seems more like a "condition" needing to be tempered versus a "disorder" that needs to be reversed or stopped.

Copyright © March 2019 by  Maeke Ermarth

               Cheyenne, WY

Perception and Speculation

Question: Were WWII, 9/11, Putin and ISIS preventable? Can computer models and algorithms be used to greater effect?

During/after Vietnam, our government was slammed for keeping troops in-country so long. Anti-war-ers bullied returning troops! Now our government gets slammed if we leave prematurely.  Even men and women who are/were engaged have differences of opinions. I thank God they do. Ones who remain guarded keep everyone alert. The others keep us from over-reacting.

Long-term consequences are anyone's guess. Castro started as an up-standing man--look what happened. And who would've suspected the Reagan and Gorbachev relationship?  Hippy ideals and technology worldwide impacted their ways of thinking and respect for each other.  Now it’s back to when one side is kind, an opposing side takes advantage.

One of my husband’s groups focused on pertinent questions. Answers were only springboards;  responses and results were monitored constantly.

1) When is enough, enough--body count of our dead?  size of territory captured and contained?  when munitions become scarce? when public outcry reaches a certain level?

2) What’s involved to keep our troops supplied and safe? Are civilians supportive?  When does sending war-time needs abroad make our homeland vulnerable?

3) What about transparency?  Open comments about pull-out dates or troops and munitions being sent in or taken out help the enemy know our intentions and locations.

4) What are our rules of engagement when the enemy plays by rules our troops have never seen the likes of? Other cultures have different levels of values, including life and death.  How much restraint must our troops use in order to "walk our talk" versus throwing our own values to the wind to "get 'er done?"

At brain-storming meetings, even the brightest minds and experienced bodies could not agree 100%.  But all had experienced more than one rodeo and could attest that no two engagements are the same.  It is hard to rely on past experience or current algorithms and theories. Our leaders need to know how much human energy we have, what our stockpile of materials is, how long we can afford to remain engaged, plans we have for within our own borders; turn a deaf ear to the public, read/listen to Intel and witness of troops and others; let people savvy in warfare formulate the best strategies, insights, actions. 

Copyright © November 2015 by Maeke Ermarth

                   Cheyenne, WY

Does Utopia Exist?

The topic of one of my college courses taken many years ago was “Utopia.”  The class came to believe after many readings and discussions that utopia, at best, is a short-lived phenomenon.  Jump forward 18 years, and I now beg to differ.  In this world of people wanting precise definitions and everyone being on board to having the same definition, I again accept being the odd (wo)man out. 

As most who know me know, I spend a portion of my year on the east coast and the remainder in WY in our permanent residence.  Due to a family marriage, my 4-month stint (stretched into five) was done earlier than usual this year, giving me the full summer indulgence of being bordered with the ocean on the east, bay on the west, and large pond on the north of me.  (That alone is utopia to the lady who opts to be a dolphin in her next life.)  

During this year’s stay, I had conversations and experiences with a few friends that caused me to look deeply at my life from several angles.  Older friends reminded me that life is short, and gets shorter every day, so enjoy what I can.  A couple other friends reminded me that there can be stagnation and unwanted compromise and submission as years roll by.

Having always felt blessed by people who have come into or even just crossed my path prompted me to bring to my husband my desire to spend more time in the east coast residence these next two years.  Luckily, he understands my love for this environment equals his love for the mountains and the western way of life and supports my desire as it will include back-home trips in-between the times he opts not to join me in the east.

A few people are fascinated by this.  But the bottom line resides in the fact that the more I am granted freedom by people who surround me, the more attached I remain to them.  That’s not to say I shun what I consider responsibilities any person in a relationship -- despite what kind of relationship that might be -- should uphold.  But it does mean cherishing the love that allows someone else to let me experience people, places and things that are important to my mind, body and soul.  Through love, I grant the same to others.

Utopia?  I’ve found it because, for me, it lies in the quality of circumstances and people that/who surround me.  Family members and friends guide me, my husband and people I care about give back to me the freedoms and respect I give them, and I remain involved with groups that throughout life help me make the changes in and about myself that need changing so I can better walk the walk I talk.  Being forever impressed by and with the universe and basically thankful has certainly brought Utopia into my life permanently.

Copyright © September 2015 by Maeke Ermarth

               Ocean City, Maryland

Dealing with Afflictions

In speaking with several people lately, it has dawned on me that we naturally get "shaken" by times of focus.  Women friends getting all keyed up about hosting a Thanksgiving gathering -- the setting, will everyone like what is served, what to wear, how everyone will interact, etc.; friends attending the event elsewhere -- will people like what they bring, what should they wear, will so-and-so be there and, if so, how will that work out.  People dating -- what to wear, what to say, what are the boundaries, what if they want to leave early, how will they fit in if going to a social event.

        It occurred to me that what might be at the base of all of these feelings is the fear of people finding out our flaws (or what we perceive to be flaws).  When a person is an alcoholic, everyone watches to see how that person will handle its presence.  When someone is a diabetic, everyone watches to see how they handle food consumption.  When someone is self-conscious about anything, how will they compare to everyone else?  You get my gist.

         Thinking now about people with eating disorders, it appears to me that the ideal situation would be more buffet-style atmosphere that provides both food-as-wanted and an all-inclusive feeling of participation.  A place where people can nibble, not eat anything but just socialize, or totally indulge -- and all of these actions being acceptable and normal and having no expectations.  My personal part as a family member or friend to the person with the disorder would be to let my person know that I am aware of the disorder but let him/her know I find it no big deal to obsess over but rather something the afflicted person needs to handle wisely in a manner that feels comfortable to her. Over time comes the recognition that what we think people are watching and thinking  is exaggerated in our own minds, and we reach a point where we stop obsessing about ourselves and start enjoying life while at the same time taking good care of ourselves. 

          I have a lot of respect for people who ask for what they need.  I can work my life around what is best for both of us if I know what my friend needs, and sometimes I need to ask what that might be.  Years ago a recovering alcoholic confided in me that she is more inclined to attend functions if someone she knows will also refrain, as she has to, from drinking anything alcoholic.  She feels less conspicuous if there is another adult not indulging.  She has now found that often times other attendees feel less pressured to drink, and therefore don't.  The sense of being the focus of attention, then, is diffused and eventually totally eliminated.

          When I am with friends or acquaintances who have any kind of noticeable disability, we do what needs to be done to accommodate the disability without making it a big deal, and it lessens the amount of "gawking" from outsiders.  It provides a feeling of being normal -- which it is, given the circumstances.  Here is the disability, and here is how we handle it so we, too, can enjoy ourselves -- just like everyone else!

          If someone I lived with had an eating problem, I would leave it up to her (or him) to buy what she wants, let her eat when the desire to do so hits, and be available to be an "ear" whenever she wants to talk about it.  However, I would also retain my own routine because it is one that suits me best.  In a nutshell, the understanding would be that we would just accommodate each other's needs and ways of handling the situation if they are within reason and do-able.

           A person grows into feeling good about herself and becomes less concerned about how they are perceived by others.  I think some awareness will always be present as it actually serves a purpose by keeping us from going too far in one direction or another, but it is reduced to the point where living is more free and unencumbered. 

            If you are a person with an affliction of any kind, let others know what you need from them in order to help yourself heal.  If you recognize that someone has an affliction and is suffering from it, ask them what you can do to help them recover.  No one can know what they do not know.  All too often we assume people know more than they do.  Like most things in life, it's a two-way street, and we have to communicate in order to start going in the right direction.

Maeke Ermarth ©November 22, 2012

            Fairfax, VA

Will Wars Ever Cease?

I am very nervous about the escalated conflicts going on in Israel this week (writing this blog on Nov. 18, 2012).  Will the turmoils in the world never cease?  I suppose not.  And a huge dilemma is at what point does outside involvement become more of a hindrance than a help?  In addition, is the help given the help that is needed?  

I am wondering what would happen if all contributing countries stopped their contributions?  Providing the items and money that help strengthen one fighting participant's position combined with other entities providing the same to the opposition ends up, in my opinion, more prolonged and destructive fighting.  Countries sending troops in results in gratitude or resentment, depending on how relationships  progress.  And, of course, further animosity increases between both the fighting countries as well as between their supporters.

What a dilemma.  To do nothing causes great angst and guilt on those who stand by and simply "watch."  Getting involved might help diffuse the situation but likely will not resolve it.  Or, getting involved might escalate the situation even further.  In my own little utopia, I reduce the very complex down to the very simple by relating serious conflicts in the world to family conflicts.  What seems to be the best way for a family to deal with children who want -- not need -- two different things in regards to one issue?  The effective parents will be moderators while the kids discuss the situation and formulate a resolution both will accept and honor.  Why not let the kids do this on their own and then come back with their plan?  Because in secrecy, one child may have badgered or somehow influenced/overpowered the other -- resulting in an unfair compromise.  

Weapons and methods of destruction are so sophisticated, and easier and easier to maneuver and aim.  Sadly, so many innocent people and neighborhoods get destroyed...and for what -- Pride?  Power?  Maybe I'm a product of the "equal housing opportunity" and "equal employment opportunity" mindset so that I'm not concerned about borders but rather am concerned about the type of government combined with religious freedom (that freedom being extended to everyone) so long as they "cause no harm."  

So for me, this is all very hard to understand, but I do realize and appreciate that it has a deep and far-reaching historical foundation.  But when -- despite its ups and downs at times -- the American "melting pot" is living proof that there is much unity when everyone is like-minded in terms of standards, manners, and meeting basic needs for everyone, I cannot absorb that it is not an example others would want to emulate and see if the urge to fight and destroy dissipates.  

If it's a matter of "thug"-type activity, it would seem to me people in all countries involved in the fight would want to stand united against the thugs, and I can understand outside countries coming in then to help subdue and, if necessary, remove the thugs.  But that, too, has to be dealt with wisely.  It is then that reduction of fear as well as intelligence has to come into play to discern who truly are the thugs versus the people the thugs have bullied in order to get them to submit and surrender.  My personal instinct is that it is mostly thug activity with many people being threatened and forced into cooperating and supporting them.  What a tragedy.

Maeke Ermarth ©November 18, 2012

            Ocean City, MD